Modesty Combined Relief Society & Young Women Modesty Fashion Show Activity and Modesty Lesson Shared by Rachael in Michigan   Modesty Fashion Show As a combined activity we held a modesty fashion show so that the Young Women could have the opportunity to show their mothers that they knew how to look nice AND dress modestly and so they could encourage each other to dress appropriately.  During the evening, we had different music for each category, such as:  classical music for the formal; "Goodnight Sweetheart" for the loungewear category, etc.  The Young Women got to write their own card describing their outfit.  The Bishop did us the honors of being our Masters of Ceremonies.  After the fashion show, the Young Women came out and told their parents what was taught about modesty in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.  It was a fun evening that the Young Women look forward to doing again.     When I was Young Women's President, we addressed the issue of modesty many times.  Last summer I girded up my loins and had a real heart-to-heart talk with the Young Women about what the prophets and other inspired leaders have to say to us about modesty.    Modesty Lesson All of my Young Women were sweet, naive Mormon girls who did not understand why the standards of the world were so bad.  They had a hard time seeing when THEY wore the shirt that was so tight it showed every detail of their bra but could look at another Young Woman and decide I must be talking about her because she was wearing a sleeveless tank top.  Fortunately, I didn't have a single Young Woman who was dressing immodestly just to buck the system of Church or family.  They truly were sweet, clueless girls.   Who knows why I asked each of you to be here tonight?  What is so important about the topic of modesty?   First of all.....you must know that I love you and your Heavenly Father loves you.  No matter what you decide here tonight, no matter what you do after this night, I love you!  I love you enough to talk to you about this.   I am not talking to your sister, your best friend, I am talking to you!  Don't judge another....worry about only yourself...ask yourself, "How does what she is talking about apply to me?"   What if Sisters Hayes [that's me] walks into Young Women with a skin-tight shirt on?  What if Sister Scott [another Young Women leader] walks into Young Women with a skirt slit-up to her thigh?  That doesn't change the standards set for you by the Lord.  You will never be able to excuse not living by the Lord's standards because someone else broke the standards first so you figured it wasn't fair for you to have to live the standards when someone else who must know better is not.   We must allow everyone to go through their own process of developing a testimony about modesty.  We will be judged by our own choices... not someone else's....except, your leaders and parents will be judged by whether or not we taught you this!   How long has the Lord been warning us to be more modest.  I will give you three quotes.  See if you can match the quote with who said it and when.   "...I have another matter that weighs upon my mind...with respect to the women, and more particularly with regard to the manner in which they dress.  Never, perhaps, at least within the period of my life....and I have lived in the world nearly seventy-five years....never, I say within the period of my life and experience have I seen such obscene, uncleanly, impure, and suggestive fashions of women's dress as I see today.  Some of them are abominable.  I lift my voice against these audacious practices and these infamous fashions."    Joseph F. Smith (Oct. 1913)   "I am ashamed, as I walk the streets of our cities, at the lack of modesty in the dresses, not only of our young people, but our mothers and grandmothers.  I will rejoice when there shall come over this land again an increased respect for the sacredness of the body and a willingness on the part of our good, pure, upright ladies to dress themselves in a more becoming manner."   Heber J. Grant (April 1928)   "Be modest.  Modesty in dress and language and deportment is a true mark of refinement and a hallmark of a virtuous Latter-day Saint woman.  Shun the low and vulgar and the suggestive."  Ezra T. Benson (Nov. 1986)   This is old news...When are we going to get the point??   I was raised in a conservative LDS home....NO BIKINI.  shortly after I was married I decided that wearing a bikini was no big deal and bought myself one.  It took me a whole season of wearing it to figure out that it WAS a big deal to me and I should not be displaying my body in such a scantily-clad way and shouldn't wear it if I wanted to be able to tell my daughter not to wear one.  What a waste of a summer season!  You have an opportunity to make your decision now!   So what is modesty?  It is "A quality of mind, heart, and body.  Modesty is an attitude of humility, decency, and propriety that may be evidenced in thought, language, dress, and behavior." Encyclopedia of Mormonism It is the hallmark of WHO YOU ARE!   We are an example of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  My sister-in-law, Caroline, regularly hires a neighborhood babysitter who is not LDS but knows what the dress standards are in Caroline's home.  Consequently, this babysitter makes a conscious decision to put T-shirts over her tank tops, etc. when she is babysitting for Caroline's children.  Caroline would really like to invite her to church but is worried because none of the Young Women in her ward uphold the standards that this non-LDS young woman tries to live while in Caroline's home.  Caroline is afraid that the message this non-LDS young woman will receive is that we, Mormon's, don't really practice what we preach.  What happens when a new Beehive or Young Woman moves in and comes into our Young Women's meeting?  Why should they uphold any high standards of modesty while their testimonies of modesty are developing if all of the rest of the Young Women are showing them that we don't need to practice what we preach?   Why dress immodestly?  What do you tell yourself when you pick out an outfit that is not according to the guidelines we have been given by Heavenly Father's prophets?  Let's name of few of the things we tell ourselves.   "I can't wait to see what _____(insert a boy's name here) thinks of this outfit!   "I look really good!"   "I feel good wearing this.  Maybe the guys will look at me."   My brother, Ben, is the Young Men's President in his ward in Kentucky and told me that in his ward the Young Women President created a survey which she distributed to the Young Men asking for their opinions about Young Women and their dress standards.  For example: "What do you think of a young woman who is wearing a low-cut shirt?  (Most answers expressed the idea that the young woman who dressed like that must be easy.)  Would you date a young woman who does not dress temple-worthy?  (Most answers said yes.)  Would you marry a young woman who does not dress temple-worthy? (Most answers said NO!)  Would you date a young woman whose underwear shows over the tops of her pants/skirts? (All answers said no.)  What are the qualities you look for in a girlfriend? (One answer...smart, funny, pretty, friendly, nice.)  What are the qualities you look for in a wife?  (Answer from the same person....smart, funny, pretty, friendly, nice with addition of spiritual.)  The anonymous answers she received from these young men confirmed two things....that the young men actually have a low opinion of young women who wear immodest clothing and that the young men are not yet really clear on what they want in a long-term companion.  So, young women....don't dress to impress them.   The Priests in my ward were asked about their thoughts on young women who dress immodestly.  One of the young men answered that he was very concerned because his sisters dressed immodestly.  He had talked to his sisters and his parents about it and didn't know what else to do.  Another young man had told his mother that he was very uncomfortable at church because of the immodest way some of the young women dress and didn't want to be around them.  Guys notice when you dress immodestly but not in the way that you might think!   "Many young women dress and act immodestly because they are told that is what you want.  In sensitive ways, communicate how distasteful revealing attire is to you, as a worthy young man, and how it stimulates unwanted emotions from what you see against your will."  (Elder Richard G. Scott, May 2000)     "Young ladies, being ladies you must constantly wear the hallmark of modesty.  No decent man admires an immodest woman."  Elder Hugh B. Brown   "Keep your dress modest.  Short skirts are not pleasing to the Lord, but modesty is.  Girls, do not be an enticement to your own downfall because of your immodest and tight-fitting clothes."  Ezra T. Benson   Other reasons you might dress immodestly: "I don't even think about it....It is the norm for attractiveness."  Of course it is the norm!  Satan is actively waging a war against you and part of that battle is to "normalize" things that are wrong and will drive the Spirit from you so you are no longer able to truly discern the Lord's truth and will just follow what the majority of nice people says is okay.   For the sake of the young men who are trying hard to be worthy priesthood holders, you cannot continue to be unaware! (Be frank, list examples.)   Does this mean that it is completely your fault if a young man thinks inappropriate thoughts or even acts on them?  No!  What IS your responsibility?   Ladies, when a young man walks into a movie that's not appropriate, he can walk out, when he turns on a TV show that is not okay, he can turn it off, when he is sitting next to a young woman in Sunday School who is dressed immodestly, he is a little limited in his choices!  It affects the adults, too....when the Bishop interviews someone, he shouldn't have to worry about where he can look because some places are showing more than they should.  We must support the priesthood by dressing appropriately!   Sister Hayes, what is the big deal?  Does my little tank top really matter?  I say it does matter!    2 Nephi 28:20-23 (He will lead us carefully down to hell) 2 Nephi 2:28-29 (Give devil power over us by choosing not to obey)   "Satan has unleashed a seductive campaign to undermine the sanctity of womanhood, to deceive the daughters of God and divert them from their divine destiny.  He well knows women are the compassionate, self-sacrificing, loving power that binds together the human family.  He would focus their interests solely on their physical attributes and rob them of their exalting roles as wives and mothers." (Elder Richard G. Scott, May 2000)   [Bear testimony of the beauty I see in them.  They are worth it!]   President Hinckley says you are an exceptional generation...you are! "But you are not that smart.  You are not resilient enough to tangle with the adversary.  You can never match his cunning or his talent for deception and diversion.  He will outsmart, outmaneuver, and outlast you ever time you willingly consent to a duel."  You are stripling warriors...we of the older generation are counting on you!   "If we desire the companionship of the Holy Ghost, we must invite it by dressing modestly.  If we desire a temple marriage, we must prepare now by dressing modestly.  If we truly consider our body to be a temple of God, we must show our appreciation for this precious gift by dressing modestly.  If we desire to honor the priesthood of God and those who hold that priesthood, we must dress modestly."  Susan Bednar, September 2001   "You are being used by the fashion industry to make money.  Someday the little girls who are the innocent victims of the clothing industry will be your daughters.  Learn now to reverence your womanhood so you can teach the principle of modesty to your daughters."  Susan Bednar   Just because you cannot find modest clothing in the stores, do the Lord's standards change?  So what are your options?   What does the For the Strength of the Youth booklet say? [List specific dress guideline on the board from pages 14-16.]  What are you willing to commit to do?   Discussion:  How can we remember and teach other visitors and new young women what you have felt and learned her tonight so that it is not just forgotten in a month or so?   My beautiful teenage cousins have somehow been taught modesty extremely well and internalized what it means to them.  With great earnestness they told me about their family motto that they will look "clean and comely" and use that motto when they are buying clothes.  They even use it to decide what clothing stores they will shop at.  They will not shop at Abercrombie and Fitch because of the wall size displays of half-clad models actively promoting dress that is not clean and comely.   Bear testimony of who they are.....Daughters of God who should not be fooled into accepting less than they deserve by selling themselves as a physical package with nothing more important included.  Heavenly Father loves you and has given you the guidance you need to pick your way through the great deceptions of our day so you can return to him with glory.  DO NOT BE FOOLED!     Back to Modesty Directory